Job interview

The 250 Job Interview Questions You'll Most Likely Be Asked I  went to an interview dressed really nice my hair was was looking good too. The problem I had was  that since I have been in the states long and all that other stuff going on in m y life I didn't have dress shoes. I wore what I had which were  my tennis shoes. I have some crocs too but I know good and well that would not  go over well. This lady decides she is not going to interview me because of my shoes. I had to get somebody to give me a ride over there. I couldn't come back another day. I said to the lady look my Mom just died and I don't have a car right  now. I know tennis shoes are not professional dress. I told her I could go outside right now and by some shoes. She went on and checked  my paper work and of course found flaws. When I can back to her desk again she had problems with every answer I had then she said. Your giving me red flags every where. I will give you this job because I feel sorry for you. Now she made it like she was doing me a favor and I should be grateful. Then when it came to for the final paper work she picked somebody else  when I was next so she wouldn't have to deal with  me.  Now if tennis shoes are not professional  than telling someone you are only hiring them because she felt sorry for them goes way over the line.

2 weeks later

Healing After Loss: Daily Meditations For Working Through Grief Tomorrow will make two weeks from the accident. We had the funeral on Oct 30th. It was just so surreal. I saw a lot of people I knew in the church and a lot of people I didn't. I seen some people that I haven't seen in years. I thought it was really bright in the church. I guess the expression on my face was grim maybe resolved I wanted to get this over. I was doing pretty good until I looked at her coffin. I was just thinking about her being in there with her burned body. I started to cry but then stopped myself because I didn't want to cry.

Service started I thought it was pretty good. Some of her friends and people she knew spoke about her. Someone of it was funny but true. Preachers pretty much said it was God's will or something like that. I took no comfort in that. I couldn't rejoice about the good memories because  the last image just haunted me that is all I could think about. I was talking with her in the car and then a crash she fell over to the side right on  me with her eyes open so I saw her lifeless body and it had touched me. I can't get that out of my head. When I close my eyes  it is there and I don't sleep much even with sleeping pills.

No one can really know how I feel to witness life and death in a minute. I think it would have been a lot better for me if I had not been there and had to see it. I have to live with that. It's not fair that I should loose my mom because someone drunk and drove.I still wanted more time with her. It's two weeks later and I am still in disbelief and I am still sleepless and even angry I grieve but slowly.